Marauders Secret Notes
by WereRanga
Summary: Way back before Extendable Ears were in fashion, before Harry and the Golden Trio were but twinkles in their parents eyes, the Marauders were kicking it old school. Check it.
1. Chapter 1

The troublesome Marauders and their adolescent thoughts, put to paper in the revival of Marauders Secret Notes. Do Enjoy.

**Remus (Moony)**

Peter (Wormtail)

_**Sirius (Padfoot)**_

_James (Prongs)_

Our story begins in Potions.

* * *

_Hey Padfoot ! Guess what! Guess, Guess, Guess!_

**Ow! What! What is it Prongs that makes you so irritatingly annoying? But what do you want?**

_Ooops. I hit you, Moony, didn't I?_

**Well who do you thinks' written this? I mean, really, Padfoot's on the other side of the bloody room Prongs. And you're lucky Wormtail didn't get this. You know what he's like. Whinge, whinge whinge about how he never gets told anything.**

**Ooh, is this going to be a bitching session now is it? But it must wait. Hang on I have to give Padfoot the signal.**

_**Ow! What the hell Prongs? Seriously is there anything less subtle then a lightning bolt in the back of the neck? Really!**_

**I find I have to agree with Padfoot, Prongs, conjuring a lightning bolt just isn't very subtle. Especially when the person you want to talk to is right in front of the teacher's desk.**

_**I mean, honestly Prongs, a little more tact would have been far more of use. We ARE the Marauders after all, masters of surprise.**_

_..._

_**I think we offended him.**_

_*Sulking*_

_**Yes. Definitely offended him.**_

**Meh. He'll get over it. Anyway Padfoot, who is that delectable specimen of girl that you are sitting next to? She smells sublime!**

_**Trust you Moony to rely on your nose for hotness. But yeah. That's Dolores. You know, Umbridge? Yeah, I've got a bet with Wormtail to get inside her pants before the end of term. It won't be much of a challenge, I can tell you that!**_

_You guys..._

**What Prongs?**

_**Yeah what? What is so important that you are interrupting Moony and mine's conversation?**_

_Well... Guess who's got a date with Lily Evans? Guess, guess, guess!_

**Um... Wormtail?**

_**Snape?**_

_No you idiots! Guess! (I'll give you a hint. Their initials are JP!)_

_**Maybe it's that new kid, Jeremiah Partens?**_

**Or she could have gone bi for that girl, what's her name, Jessica Parker? Yeah that one.**

_What? What the hell are you talking about? Really. What the hell have you been smoking?_

_**Well...**_

**Um...**

_Don't answer that. I don't want to know. Anyway, I'm the person who's got a date with Lily! ME! ME!_

_**He's not hallucinating, is he?**_

**He must have found our stash. Anyways Prongs, I find that hard to believe. She's hated you since you dyed her hair blue with purple streaks in fourth year!**

_She has not! Well... Maybe she did. But that's all changed. She's agreed to go to Hogsmeade with me on the weekend!_

It's only for a tutoring session. Stop lying James.

_Wormtail?_

**What the hell Wormtail? Is that true?**

_**Of course it's true. Wormtail's a born snitch.**_

HEY!

_I'm not talking to you guys any more!_

_**Huzzah.**_

**Whoopee.**

I'm sorry Prongs, really, I'm so sorry!

…

_**I'm bored n-**_

**What's got his attention?**

Umbridge's top slipped.

**Ah.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2. Slightly edited grammar-wise, but the content is the same. Feel free to review.

**Wow. I really cannot believe it.**

_**What? That Prongs actually managed to snag Evans, the most uptight and frigid girl this school has ever seen, OR that she hasn't slapped him yet for putting his had on her leg? By the way, that leg is extremely hot.**_

**Honestly Padfoot, do you think about anything other then girls/sex? Really. (Though she does have nice legs).**

_**Yeah. *Sigh* Hang on a second! Check it out! That slimy git Snape is trying to talk to Evans!**_

**What! Are you serious?**

_**Totally, you should check it out. Whoah! Prongs is going off his nut!**_

**I suppose one would be a tad aggravated and threatened when the one who is by far, the beta male attempts to steal said alpha males mate.**

_**I have no idea what you just said mate. In English?**_

**Well, Prongs is feeling threatened by Snape because he thinks Snape is trying to take Evans from him. **

_**Oh. Why didn't you just that in the first place? I mean, really, you speak too technically.**_

**Did Prongs just curse Snape? Or does his nose normally look that big and purple? (it reminds me of an eggplant)**

_**Prongs cursed Snape? Really? Why did I not see this? Really. Why did I not see this?**_

**Because you were staring at that girl over in Ravenclaw. You know, the one with the massive boobs? What's-her-name, um, um, um.**

_**I was not staring at her! It's merely an interest.**_

**An interest ay? In Amelia Bones ay?**

_**Not like that you perverted soul! Gawd.**_

**Hey speaking of perverted souls what has happened to dear old Prongs? He appears to be writhing on the ground in agony!**

_**10 sickles that Evans kicked him in the balls.**_

**You're on.**


	3. Chapter 3

Just another little snippet of our favourite quartet's lives. Do enjoy yourselves.

Prongs? I have something I reallllly need to tell you.

_Yes Wormy? What is it that you find so necessary to write to me when I am date with the incredibly hot Lily Evans_

Um. Well. See-

_Spit it out! And hurry! Lily's getting suspicious!_

Well… It kind of involves Evans… And Padfoot… and Moony… Look, just don't kiss Evans all right?

_Me not kiss Evans? Is my eyes reading correctly?_

_Look, mate just don't kiss Evans. It might not be who you think it is…_

_Are you trying to tell me that Padfoot has set himself up to be Lily by drinking Polyjuice Potion?_

Um… No?

_Phew, Cause I was starting to get worried. Now leave me alone, so I can get back to seducing Evans. Again._

I don't think he believed me Padfoot.

_**Ah well. At least Moony will have some fun. Unless the Potion wears off.**_

Judging by those shouts and the smashing noises coming from the common room, I guess it already has.

_**Makes you wonder doesn't it?**_

About what? OH, you mean if Moony's gay?

**OI!**

Oops.

_**You're in for it now Wormtail.**_

It was your bloody idea Padfoot!

_**I'd start running if I were you. I think he's PMSing.**_

PMSing?

_**Post-Moon-Syndrome. But seriously, Wormtail. Run.**_


End file.
